


Tilt Your Hat at a Roguish Angle

by Official_Biscuit_Moron



Series: The Most Important Questions Are The Hardest To Ask [2]
Category: Gintama
Genre: F/F, Gen, Kagusoyo, Soyokagu, dork in love, early-morning important chats with gintoki and kagura, kagura is still the dork, kagura's always a dork, tae appears briefly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-28
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:47:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25573819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Official_Biscuit_Moron/pseuds/Official_Biscuit_Moron
Summary: “So, you see, uh,” Kagura said, then gulped, tugging at the collar of her shirt. She cleared her throat, and tried again. “S-Soyo-chan, um. Dammit. Soyo-chan, I-”“What.. What are you wearing, Kagura-chan?” Soyo-chan asked, between giggles./ / /Aka Kagura has an Experience.
Relationships: Kagura & Sakata Gintoki, Kagura & Tokugawa Soyo, Kagura/Tokugawa Soyo
Series: The Most Important Questions Are The Hardest To Ask [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1853446
Comments: 6
Kudos: 30





	Tilt Your Hat at a Roguish Angle

“So, you see, uh,” Kagura said, then gulped, tugging at the collar of her shirt. She cleared her throat, and tried again. “S-Soyo-chan, um. Dammit. Soyo-chan, I-”

“What.. What are you wearing, Kagura-chan?” Soyo-chan asked, between giggles.

Kagura turned her gaze down to examine her outfit, finding that her memory was a little bit foggy, and observed several things: one, she was not dressed in her customary red; two, she was wearing some kind of suit, with something dangling from the sleeves; and three, there was something on her head - and on her nose, too, she noticed. Soyo-chan swayed in her peripheral vision, still trying to hold in her laughter.

Hesitantly, tentatively, Kagura raised her hand to her head, watching it twist and weave in and out of the air, swirling and wiggling until it reached the top. An experimental pat let her know she was wearing a hat of some kind; a slightly lower pat, around her eyes, told her she was wearing...Well, no. That couldn’t be right.

She patted again, a little harder, and felt, again, distantly, cold, thin metal and smooth glass.

A single hand was no longer enough to stifle the princess’s amusement, so she clapped the other one over her mouth, eyes scrunched up at the corners, doubled over in fits of hilarity. All the blood in Kagura’s body swam to her face, dizzyingly fast. She turned away from Soyo-chan, cheeks burning, and was immediately confronted by Anego, who had her hair down, and was smiling a sad sort of smile and wearing a long, pretty robe—sort of like Jesus, Kagura’s brain supplied. Flanking her were Gin-chan and Kyuu-chan, both in shiny armor, holding broadswords, and looking very grave; just peeking out from behind them were Tsukki and Sacchan, dressed identically and wearing similar serious expressions. They were all unsettlingly uniform, and wavered vaguely, like a vision of an oasis in a desert.

Anego pulled a small, handheld mirror, dripping with stickers, out of her sleeve and brought it to Kagura’s eye-level. 

“Kagura-chan,” she said, starting to open it. A single tear slid down her cheek. “I’m sorry. The time has come, Kagura-chan. For you to see your true self.”

Kagura shielded her eyes as the mirror popped open, a spike of fear lancing sharply through her heart, chilling her to the bone and sticking her tongue to the roof of her mouth. After a long moment of fearful anticipation, she peeked out from behind her hands, hesitantly, tentatively raising her eyes to the obnoxiously pink mirror; she took in a sharp, terrified breath, and _screamed._

“Kagura?!” said Gin-chan’s voice, strangely muffled, accompanied by pounding footsteps.

Kagura opened her eyes, breathing like a rhinoceros, just in time to be blinded with morning light - Gin-chan had ripped open the closet door, and was standing there, eyes wide, hair stuck in weird, haphazard tufts like he had just woken up.

“Kagura, oi! What happened? What’s going on? Wh—Did you have a nightmare? Are you okay? Kagura!”

“Gin-chan?” she said, heart pounding out of her chest, a cold sweat sliding down her back, and promptly fell out of the closet—thankfully, he caught her before she hit the floor, though his helpful gesture was accompanied by a lot of unnecessary, worried blabbing that Kagura felt it was appropriate to tune out. She couldn’t afford to listen to Gin-chan’s bullshit; she had to think. She wracked her brain, wondering what it was that had frightened her so, because she _had_ been frightened, hadn’t she? She had yelled. Her heartbeat was accelerated, her sweat was accelerated, Gin-chan’s voice was accelerated. Surely that’s what all these signs were pointing to? Kagura clenched her eyes shut, trying frantically to remember, to picture whatever terrifying thing might’ve scared even the Queen of Kabukicho.

Suddenly, as Gin-chan finished propping her upright, she screamed _again,_ sending him tumbling to the floor in shock and panic. “Kagura?!” he screamed back, discombobulated, trying in vain to stand up.

“NO!” she cried, clutching her head in her hands, trying to purge the image from her mind.

“Kagura!” Gin-chan slipped again, hitting the floor with what would’ve been, on any other occasion, a very satisfying and amusing ‘thunk.’ Today, it only added an element of annoyance to her distress.

“No, NO!” she howled again, just as Gin-chan got to his feet. He spun to the ground. 

“Gin-chan, would you _stop that!_ I’m in distress, yes?! Can’t you see? Distress!” 

He struggled in the face of her glare, wobbling precariously. “Uh, it’s not like I’m _trying_ to fall over, damn idiot! The floor is slippery, and I only just woke up, and you yelled so loud, and-”

“I don’t care about your stupid problems, Gin-chan!” she bellowed, almost in tears. “I’ve just seen something very upsetting, yes? I need comfort and sukonbu, not a useless old man, yes?”

He probably said something rude in response to that—Kagura wouldn’t know, seeing as she didn't listen. Helpfully, she gave him a shove that deposited him onto the couch instead of the floor, because _she_ wasn’t a useless old man, and sat next to him, sniffling. When he offered her his sleeve to wipe her eyes on, she accepted it gratefully, blowing her nose vigorously into the cloth, and he only whined about it a little bit.

“So,” she began, after drenching Gin-chan’s other sleeve in snot, too, “I had this scary dream, yes?”

“Well, yeah. I figured.”

“Yes. It was scary, and I’m telling you about it, so don’t interrupt. So first, it was the middle of the day, yes, and very sunny, and I was in the park—that’s the setting. And, Gin-chan, it was today, because I was about to tell Soyo-chan that I wanted to go on a date with her and see what she thought. And so I saw her, and I walked up to her, and we said hi, right? And then I was about to ask her, and I started to ask her, when..” she sniffled again, and Gin-chan put a hand on her shoulder that she couldn’t help but feel comforted by.

“Kagura?”

She opened her mouth, then closed it again, then said, “Gin-chan, I specifically said not to interrupt, yes?”

“Of course. How could I have forgotten?”

“Don’t sass me, young man!” She shook a scathing finger at him, then crossed her arms, knowing how he was going to respond. “Yes, Gin-chan, I know I just called you an old man—times are changing, keep up. I’m going to continue my story now, yes?”

“Alright,” he said, in a pissy tone that she let slide because he had just offered her the box of sukonbu that was on the table. She tapped one out, put it in her mouth, and let the refreshingly sour flavor soothe her nerves.

“So,” she continued, eventually, “I was asking her, then she...she started to laugh. And I was confused, and then she said, “What are you wearing, Kagura-chan?” and I looked down, and I was wearing a suit, Gin-chan. And no, that’s not so bad, but then I reached up and felt something on my head and then on my nose, uh-huh, and I thought, no, no way! No, it can’t possibly be what I’m making it out to be! And then, Gin-chan, and then I turned around, and Anego was there, but in Jesus clothes, yes, and you and Kyuu-chan and Tsukki and Sacchan were all there, too, looking very solemn and in knightly armor and holding big swords. And Anego was smiling, but it was a sad smile, and she was holding a mirror that was pink and had many stickers on it, like a sticker of Sadaharu and Eli and a Justaway. And then she said, “Kagura-chan, I’m going to show you your true self!” and she opened the mirror, and- I saw- Gin-chan, I saw-”

“What did you see?” Gin-chan asked gently.

“ _F-Fashion_ _Pachi!_ ” she wailed, in a broken sob. Gin-chan gasped, frowning sympathetically, and put his arm around her. “I was going to ask Soyo-chan on a date, yes?! And I was dressed like Shinpachi whenever he thinks he’s being cool and fresh! My suit that wasn’t so bad?! It had floor-length tassels on the arms, yes! And I had shiny white boots, and a huge gold belt, and then—when I looked in Anego’s mirror—my hair was gelled up, and I was wearing a fancy fedora and a pair of Shinpachi to ask Soyo-chan on a date! On a date! And she laughed at me, yes, but I don’t blame her, because I would laugh at me, too, Gin-chan! Everyone would laugh at me—you would laugh, I bet even Kyuu-chan and Tsukki would laugh! And Zura, and then the director would pop out of Eli and he would laugh too! Everyone except for Patsuan, because he would’ve thought I was stylish!”

“Kagura..”

“What do I _do,_ Gin-chan?”

“Well..” he thought about it for a moment. “Just.. Make sure you don’t wear something weird when you actually go ask her?”

“I.. yes. I guess so, yes?”

“Yes,” he said seriously, and gave her shoulder a supportive pat. “You don’t wanna go ask her out dressed like that, yeah? So don’t! It was just a dream; you have control over what you wear and what you do. If you want to dress like Shinpachi—I know, you don’t, it's just an example—then dress like him. If you want to dress like someone else, then dress like them, but if you want to dress like yourself, then do that. Besides,” he continued, smiling at her, “If you come looking like Fashion Patsuan, she'll laugh, definitely—you said it yourself, you'd laugh too. But, Kagura, even if you're dressed as Sadaharu, or Prince Mayora, or a Neo Armstrong Cyclone Jet Armstrong Cannon, she won’t laugh when you ask her on a date. She wouldn’t find something so important funny; she might laugh at your outfit, yeah. But she would never laugh at your feelings.”

Kagura pondered this, eyes fixated on a piece of Gin-chan’s hair that was going entirely the wrong direction, somehow sticking out at a perfect 90-degree angle to his head and suspended in midair. Funnily enough, after she stared at it for a while, it fell to a more acceptable 45-degree angle.

“Yeah, I know. You don't have to tell me,” she muttered, after a moment, meeting his eyes. He smiled and patted her on the shoulder again.

“I know you know, brat. Anyway—do you want breakfast? You could go pick out an outfit to wear while I make something.”

“What kind of question is that, Gin-chan?” Kagura asked incredulously. “Six bowls of egg on rice, yes? And make it snappy.”

“Oi, you shouldn't be so rude to the guy who's making you food, Kagura. Be careful what you say, or I won't make it snappy at all. I'll take a whole hour making the rice, then another hour putting it into a bowl, then another hour cracking the egg, then another hour pouring the soy sauce on top, then-”

“Stop it! Just shut up, Gin-chan! Egg on rice is created with actions, not words, yes? So get to it! Quickly, before I starve, or beat you up!” She brushed off the arm around her shoulders and leapt up, running over to the closet to pick out some clothes, studiously avoiding the blue fedora she’d stolen from Shinpachi a couple of weeks ago and instead selecting something outside her usual repertoire; a pink dress, pale and soft. The one she’d worn in the beach ending. She shook it out, smoothing down the creases, and studied it carefully before shooting a quick glance over her shoulder. She said, barely audible, “Thanks, Gin-chan.”

“Sure,” he replied, and went to make breakfast.

**Author's Note:**

> betcha didn't think i would pull the 'but it was all a dream' shit now did you
> 
> (howdy!! petition to sign to support blm: http://chng.it/zvskBKMks8)


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